Episode 5 | New Dad Gaming

[0:07] welcome to New dad gaming a show about gaming fatherhood and new fathers figuring out their gaming lives I’m Trevor and I have a three-month old

[0:16] four-month old he’s four months old now uh I’m Gavin I have a two-month-old I’m Jeff I’m GNA stick at two and a half and

[0:27] five-year-old those are the ones you’re gonna go with like I’m not counting months oh man I hate I can’t stand when people count count months past a year

[0:37] like 39 months I love it when they try to do weeks past a year oh there 73 weeks you’re kidding me you’ve never heard

[0:46] that are you serious no I’m totally making that up I guarantee you it probably exists somewhere probably like in some high-end

[0:56] neighborhood I believe it oh yeah yeah gity somewhere in a gated community there’s a four-year-old whose

[1:04] age is still being referred to in weeks in weeks yeah yeah the kids name is Chester and uh yeah 385 weeks old it’s very no I’ve heard some people go like

[1:15] he’s like oh he’s a he’s a 74 74 month- old Y what 74 months why are you you know like you can group those into clumps of 12 and just shave it down a

[1:28] bit yeah I’ve I’ve heard but you know that’s an exaggeration but I’ve literally honestly heard up to a 40-month old that makes no sense yeah

[1:37] like what are you are you holding on to him as a kid but he is one I think that’s some that’s some uh issues about the parent being able to

[1:45] let go at that point it’s like you know it’s it’s a it’s a kid now it’s not a baby anymore it’s a kid your child is growing it’s natural it’s good it’s

[1:53] great but you can now refer to their age and years and they can consume more than breast milk so let’s just move on yeah man the it’s so bizarre but um but

[2:05] everybody has like their their thing and I think sometimes like everybody parents differently and sometimes it can seem pretty bizarre but you know when you are

[2:12] referring to increments of time sometimes it’s good to use a social Norm you know it’s the same as like we don’t refer to certain measures of weight in

[2:20] Stones because people are just used to kilograms or pounds here in Canada so yeah see I don’t mind like the teach their own as far as parenting like I’m

[2:29] down with that but where it when it impacts me where I’m doing mathematical gymnastics

[2:39] to damn it man I’m I’m tired I don’t have time for math tell me how old this kid is I’m happy that your kid is so many lunar cycles but I don’t know what

[2:49] that equates to a normal measurement of time yeah oh so this is Stewart he’s 18 Solstice is old

[2:59] half a decade oh man so yeah it should be noted that for the first show ever I don’t have a coffee and both Jeff and Gavin

[3:11] have delicious coffees is killing me on these things the entire time and just we I’ll watch Trevor squirm every 10 seconds of of the

[3:21] three of us I think Trevor is also the one with the like strongest biological connection to coffee addiction

[3:30] I think that’s a that’s that’s a street term for it yeah is there polite way of saying addiction I have an emotional connection

[3:37] to it I have a mental addiction or addiction mental connection to it I have a physical con as a dad you have to right now you don’t have a phal

[3:45] connection to it and that’s why you’re so grumpy yeah oh man I’m so tired is what I am wow yeah so you get any recovery over

[3:54] the last few days I mean much like we lamented on the show like God bless partners and my wife has been an absolute treat and just been treating me

[4:06] so amazingly letting me get naps here in there but just I got better and I got better and then I kind of slacked off on the care and I proceeded to just get

[4:15] much much worse immediately so it is yeah I am worse for where we’ll put it out that way yes one of the reasons why I’m still

[4:29] very happy that we do this by proxy yeah we’ll just two hours of travel every single uh week for this F program oh yeah then best part two you

[4:40] all get yeah but um yeah we’ll say like the interesting experience happened last week when I was gaming and specifically like the I

[4:51] ruined my chance at gaming where old Gaming habits came in to just ruin an experience that I could have had and so this is this is still within Batman

[5:00] Origins it’s probably going to take me a while to get through it at the slow pace I can actually dedicate to it but my old completionist habits came to bite me

[5:10] because I I was looking at one section of the map and it’s like you know what I’m I’m just going to get all of these things let’s just see what it’s like I’m

[5:18] going to I’m going to fix all these towers I’m going to get all these data ones I’m going to get all the Joker stuff just just one section we’re going

[5:25] to see what that’s like clear it out ultimately if the reward is good enough then fine I’ll put in that time and it got to a point where there was one of

[5:34] the Joker secrets and it’s like you had to jump repel down this thing run across this jump through six Hoops kill four the guys back jump back up within like

[5:42] 20 seconds or you miss it and like I had to like go through all these online tutorials about how to do it and I failed it like two or three times in a

[5:51] row and I’m like why am I doing this this is miserable I have wasted what could have been a very enjoyable beat down hour

[6:00] pulling my hair out desperately trying to get this stupid Joker trophy that I don’t think I’m going to finish all of them anyways like what am I doing myself

[6:07] and just like shut down the computer and left like that was all the time I had to play so just old habits coming into completely ruin what could have been a

[6:15] very enjoyable gaming experience then the baby cried I had to leave what is like those moments are now like because of that responsibility like

[6:26] those moments are so like Precious like you just can’t can’t it it’s funny like there’s almost this pressure to enjoy that moment of gaming like you almost

[6:36] have to plan it out in a sense where it’s like you know I know that I can get in play this enjoy it and then once I get interrupted by baby duties it’s not

[6:46] going to matter like I I’ll feel satiated I don’t have to you know go away feeling bad for what just happened speaking of baby duties I’ll be right

[6:55] back oh gu has lost the poll a second time ouch man so what is it now like he owes us money or maybe coffee maybe we

[7:10] can just turn it to Coffee oh he should totally come deliver coffee but I get what you’re saying on the um whole trying to make your gaming

[7:20] session the best that it can be right it’s precious moment because you really have to make it count otherwise you’re going to lose it and you’re going to be

[7:28] ending up you know spending a couple hours jumping through hoops to try and get a trophy oh oh it’s so dumb and there’s no payoff it was all this

[7:37] time it’s just a couple more percentages off of that like completion bar and it’s like H why am I doing this it’s I’ll say it’s a hard to have

[7:47] it to break but it’s like literally I mean this is such a minor thing in life but ultimately for these next years as we’re

[7:54] going through this like this it’s really something I have to beat because ultimately like that percentage on the save game it’s like oh

[8:02] you’re only like 14% done or you’re 80% done and not being finished it like that really is goes against how I’ve always played games like I really do like to

[8:12] get the 100% to completion and I I just can’t like I just really have to stop myself because otherwise I’m not going to be enjoying it I’ll be playing or for

[8:22] that humbles you CU like there’s this I I remember I used to be very completionist and then I played Just Cause 2 and I finished the story

[8:29] I like destroyed most of the outposts that were around I collected a good amount of stuff um I did all this stuff and I’m like oh wow man I wonder what my

[8:40] percentage completion was I looked at it was like 47% yeah that was after finish the entire story campaign all this stuff I

[8:48] flew under like 80 Bridges I jumped off of most of the buildings like I base jumped everything freestanding and a go

[9:02] yeah and it’s but then you look it’s like a 400 square mile island so it’s like yeah of course there’s still so much more to do and I think it’s like a

[9:12] it’s like a buffet rather than a meal and like if you start looking at these large open World Games as buffets rather than meals you never go to like you know

[9:22] uh like an all you can eat buffet thinking I’m gonna I’m GNA finish this there’s no finishing it it’s it’s it’s there yeah not anymore like there’s you

[9:33] won’t have any room even if they don’t refill any of the trays there’s just an insurmountable amount of food to consume pause here for a second has there been a

[9:44] time in your life where you actually tried to finish a buffet I just want to get that like I was a very ambitious teenager please please sir stop you

[9:56] can’t you can’t have anymore sir run a business sorry continue but yeah know like that I think that’s the thing is if you a lot

[10:06] of these games too it’s a game design issue as well because like you’re carrying a a way of playing that um used to be achievable but now like the way

[10:17] side missions work and you have games like Assassin’s Creed which are quite guilty of this um where the number of side missions and things you can do

[10:25] where it’s like you know you’re you’re looking after like text style manufacturing and it’s why am I look I’m a I’m a medieval Renaissance assassin

[10:35] why am I worried at all about textiles and it’s like well so you can get new capes I’m like I don’t care about the capes but it’s like because you didn’t

[10:44] care about the capes you’ll never get past like 70% completion because there’s like 20% textiles another 10% working with a cober so you get better boots

[10:54] like all this other stuff that they put into the game so that way it it does have the content for people who have absolutely nothing else to do and

[11:04] they just want to go at it um and I think it’s great because it does make the world believable in the sense of there is all this stuff I can do um

[11:13] whether I have time for it or not it’s the same with Grand Theft Auto they they’re very much like that uh you know there a lot of these it’s an open world

[11:20] game and Batman is an open world game and it’s one of those things where it’s like here’s your playground you can do whatever you want the same with I’m

[11:27] playing Dying Light right now and there’s all sorts of side missions not a lot of weird little side things you can do but a lot of like fetch quests and

[11:35] stuff like that and I realize that I’m doing a lot of the same thing which is just parkour from one end of the zombie city to the other pick up a box and then

[11:44] bring it back to the guy and that’s about it um I think all the Miss like dialogue opportunities though with the manufacturing stuff in Assassin’s Creed

[11:53] like these drapes aren’t good enough sir what are you doing why are you so angry let’s just say we both like to cut corners

[12:00] St stab we need like a every time somebody does a dad joke but let’s say let’s say you 100%

[12:13] that game let’s say you 100% it you’ve gone through Batman you see the one z z on your if you play it on steam or PS4 or whatever and then they come up with

[12:23] DLC and that percentage moves back as I said it’s

[12:33] the have to start over again like that’s man I just I wanted to see I so badly want to take Gavin to a buffet now though and just

[12:44] see I I can’t do that stuff anymore I’m those days are behind me there’s gonna be a lot behind you if you keep up that

[12:53] habit dad joke J again not a dad joke R coffee so yeah quickly guys let’s uh as per always how was your week both

[13:06] from so that was a bit of an update for myself as far as dading and gaming how about yourselves how how was your week yeah um mine was okay I started on a

[13:18] couple other indie games uh Tesla grad started that one up it’s kind of neat um animation is kind of fun it’s a kind of like a platform Puzzler yeah a little

[13:30] bit more relaxing than some of the heavy stuff I’ve been playing um I did Platinum rocket league so speak 100% we have royalty in our

[13:43] midst um so I got some sessions in it was a pretty good week I got over my sickness from last week and infected everybody else again so but now you’re

[13:53] immune you can just sit back youd say that I’m just waiting till next week’s show yeah be that’s when the kids bring home the

[14:00] next strain or just mutates in a kid and comes back to you like bigger and stronger well yeah the kids go to school

[14:08] and they lick the garbage I don’t know what they do come back new bacteria I don’t know what it is lick the bottom of the buffet tray and uh oh with the

[14:18] pending strike it’s not the cleanest of hallways right now so you never know yeah but uh no good gaming session it was um it wasn’t bad this week I got a

[14:27] couple new new games faces to games in at least what you g um I’ve had a very busy work week uh dad week wise it’s been pretty good um

[14:42] just kind of we’re doing our thing and uh she’s been doing well we got a couple decent nights sleep so that was great um had some visitors over the weekend which

[14:51] is also very nice but uh there was a deadline for today um that I was trying to get a bunch of like concept art and stuff like that ready for so uh with the

[15:01] looming deadline that’s usually always like okay I don’t know how much time I have to play but I did get a little bit of time in here and there with kind of

[15:09] the the usual go-to I’ve been still working my way through Dying Light I’m trying to get that off of my off my to-do list uh before November uh because

[15:19] that’s uh that’s Fallout and that’s when that’s all I’ll be talking about most likely until December then that’s the next year the next year um okay

[15:31] yeah okay any um I just think about like pending releases have you guys I bought a key for the upcoming Star Wars game Battlefront which like

[15:44] they the bet is coming on the eth I don’t know if you guys are looking at that one and there’s also it seems to be like a pretty big release there’s

[15:50] battleborn from the same makers of what do you call it Borderlands it’s a I think it’s mostly a player versus player but there’s a whole campaign mode

[16:02] if it which so basically looks like player versus player but done a l Borderlands and then there’s um OverWatch from blizzard like they do p

[16:13] versus P like you said fallouts coming out trying to think like some other big releases it’s a pretty like now is the season when they start coming out right

[16:21] just before the Christmas yeah there’s all the I think there’s all there’re going to be obviously a Call of Duty of some kind there’s another Assassin’s

[16:31] Creed there’s like your regular players um like two of my personal ones on on the the list I’m uh is obviously Fallout but also um I really like uh the just

[16:44] cause series and the third one of that’s coming out so that’s uh that’s the other one that I’m that I’m waiting for that’ll be coming I think December I

[16:52] think is when it comes out I thought that got pushed but I hope not up yeah yeah it’s stupidly large but uh no those are those are the ones that I’m

[17:06] I’m looking forward to at the moment so I think yeah I think I would get the I’d get NHL 16 I haven’t really got an update for a hockey game since 12 but

[17:18] they don’t oddly they don’t make any games for PC seems like yeah it’s a weird thing like this the sports games the PC is

[17:26] kind of a bit of a desert when it comes to that like they they get all the releases on console and then even some of the PC ports they get kind of uh I

[17:35] think there was a FIFA game where the graphics got T back a huge amount where it’s just you see it and it’s like why did you down like like PCS are capable

[17:44] of 4K resolution like why are you like it it should have more pixels why less but nope nerfed it that’s a weird place cuz and also like the Batman uh Arkham

[17:56] Knight I think it like it’s re-release is coming out sometime this month cuz the first release was so unplayable oh it was a hot mess so yeah it’s kind of

[18:07] bizarre like it’s the best of time some as far as like some of the deals and some of the like a great breadth of games that come out but then it’s the

[18:14] worst of times sports games AR like anything that’s ported is yeah like you said the two terrible recent examples was that soccer game

[18:23] that was you know Xbox 360 quality yeah and the yeah the mess that was Arkham Knight although not not quite the mess of don’t suppose either you fine

[18:34] gentlemen bought Tony Hawk 5 no no but I’ve been loving it on YouTube do you remember the graphics do you remember when they first introduced

[18:43] it and they had like this weird like like it was a different Graphics engine and all a sudden everybody complained and then you know a month before release

[18:51] they’re like oh hey we got new graphics y that’s not it just looks like such generic real istic Graphics like that was the thing too is it it just it was

[19:02] the type of real Graphics that you see usually bundled with like a dev kit it’s like hey so you want to use Unity or unreal well here’s some just Placer

[19:12] assets you can use while you build your prototype and then then you can actually hire some artists to make some real stuff and they’re like no we’re good

[19:19] that’s we’ll just stick with this some quality control in the yeah just like yeah man if theyjust like cuz those games are great and if

[19:28] they just like played The Nostalgia thing properly where it’s just like a super tight great playing Tony Hawk game like yeah that there hasn’t been a

[19:36] skating game in quite some time so it could have been yeah the last series actually do it right was that series called skate and I that one was uh very

[19:46] well received did really well and uh I think like American Wasteland was the last Tony Hawk game and that one kind of faltered oh wait there was also that one

[19:55] peripheral that yeah came with like skateboard hor it was so horrible yeah it’s like you just feel bad for the guy CU like the last few things he’s

[20:07] done you’re just been like oh buddy like you’re you’re swinging for the fences but it’s like a whiffle ball bat like you’re not even like what are you doing

[20:16] man yeah so thought like oh sorry yeah it’s just because it was back when it was in its Heyday was such a fantastic game and I

[20:26] think that’s the that’s the frustrating thing for the audience too is it’s like we know you’re better than this like we know you’re capable of greatness it’s

[20:33] not just watching somebody try and try and try where you’re like yeah maybe this isn’t for you and it’s like like the audience knows that there was

[20:42] something and they’re just trying to find it again but like maybe it’s gone maybe it’s like yeah it’s it was so good you it was so good back in the day a

[20:52] high school just can’t connect again kind of thing TNT I immediately think Tony Hawk it was such a good game yeah yeah that’s lost I hope our I hope like

[21:04] I hope our kids can have that type of anybody our age I think you can say you know 007 Tony Hawk like Grand Theft ut3 like

[21:14] any general game like that and they just immediately like oh man that that was something like there’s that whole experience call it Nostalgia whatever

[21:21] you want to call it but just the games were so solid they hit at such a perfect time M like like the amount of Summer like night or just like gaming sessions

[21:30] with Tony Hawk like the huge uh move like how how what’s the biggest score you’ve ever got what’s the biggest score like yeah everything around it and that

[21:38] still lives on to this day like I really hope that as our kids are coming up and playing games like there’s that opportunity I’m trying to think it’s

[21:46] difficult though because all of those games you have to remember what the um where they were experienced and it was usually in a friend’s basement everybody

[21:54] huddled around a CRT like it was it was a more social engagement um even like the first Halo was usually split screen multiplayer or

[22:05] co-op with with a friend in the same room and I think now because the online gaming is taking such a higher uh

[22:16] popularity that you can’t kind of albow your friend and be like yeah do you remember that time when it’s like well no because we weren’t we didn’t share

[22:25] that experience it was everybody’s kind of on their own and you know there is a lot of like lovers in a dangerous SpaceTime for example is one where like

[22:34] we’re seeing some more cach social games uh TowerFall is a great example for that as well uh nit hog was great um there’s games out there that are promoting

[22:45] people doing stuff in the same room and I think those might strike that same chord but I think unfortunately that sort of everybody

[22:54] playing Gold N together that’s not as prevalent everybody needs their own account and log in so they can customize their character and give them a special

[23:02] Cape like it it’s it’s not just about okay well you know you you play jaws and I’ll play Oddball and then let’s just go do this thing um that’s sort of by the

[23:14] way side and I think it might come back there might be a bit of a you know a craving for it but at the moment I’m I’m scared for this generation that’s just

[23:22] you know experiencing that time like their early adolescence and all their games are like yeah you remember that yeah but that six months later we got

[23:29] into updating a new one in DLC and like the secondary Studio released the other Black Ops 8 so now we got to play this now and like there’s not enough time for

[23:38] to steep with the audience either so I don’t know that’s just my rant about it yeah they’re also split across a lot of different devices too right so you have

[23:46] them with mobile device you have them with iPads you have them with you know virtual realities coming out who knows what that motion controls all the other

[23:55] consoles um so it might be a little bit of a different scene when they grow up into it but I at least know from from my perspective a bunch of the dad group um

[24:06] we get together once a month and we have a gaming night so we do the coach Co-op thing so we keep that kind of alive and it’s awesome and you just remember how

[24:14] awesome uh it was growing up so I’m hoping that they have that connection in some way because hopefully hopefully it’s not just nothing but Minecraft and

[24:22] angry Bir like more of a social connection right and just yeah then you can create those memories for is just creating your own memories in the game

[24:31] you had someone there with you so yeah I don’t know I did hear um and again it speaks a bit to my ignorance about the some of the ages around gaming but

[24:42] there’s a interview I saw recently he was talking about his I I think it was like a 12-year-old and some other kid came over and he’s like oh come check

[24:50] out my Minecraft world and the other kid came in and like hopped in and now the two of them were just sitting there jumping around in Minecraft on that one

[24:57] world like oh it’s amazing hey let’s add this like yeah let’s go ahead and build it so yeah it’s proba it just needs the it’s lacking a lot of the physicality at

[25:06] the moment as far as like that presence with one another but but actually as you mentioned that like that does sound like maybe that’s where it exists maybe it’s

[25:13] in the games that are a little bit more social creative um and even in like you know in defense of that idea of online gaming like I remember having a lot of

[25:22] really good memories of playing Battlefield with a friend of mine who I didn’t get to spend much time with with since he had moved to another city but

[25:31] we would hang out playing Battlefield and we had so many times of like oh remember that time we were getting chased by a helicopter we’re on a

[25:37] four-wheeler about to blow up and I jumped off and hid in a bush and you died yeah that was awesome like I’m a great wingman by the

[25:45] way noted yeah that’s true because I remember playing Quake like Quake to we couldn’t get together every night so we

[25:55] played online star was the same yeah Starcraft same battle battle net yeah so there were some games like that but then you would see that same friend you know

[26:04] at school the next day that connection might not be there necessarily but well they might be doing the same thing like who’s to say that the kids playing Call

[26:12] of Duty now aren’t hanging out at school the next day kind of saying I was like well do you see how awesome I banked that RPG off the side of a van and took

[26:19] out all those guys that was awesome so it could be happening but it’s just you know we’re not witnessing it because we’re not because we’re they’re friends

[26:29] friends buddies be cool d i do Wonder like I wonder if it’s something that you can kind of push and not like I you know don’t like the

[26:40] general sentiment of pushing things on your kid but the general idea of where the kid says oh I’m going to get online and play with you know Donald or Daryl

[26:47] and it’s like well why don’t you invite him over you guys can play here like you know you the very least that maybe you can do if it’s possible like if they

[26:56] live just a couple blocks down like just enforce that physicality a little bit to try to promote it because at the they wouldn’t know any in some ways I think

[27:05] it’s almost like they wouldn’t know better as far as oh it’s easy enough just to hop on there’s like 50 friends and it’s like well you know there’s a

[27:10] lot of kind of fun stuff that can happen if you’re in the same space and ultimately without them knowing it it’s probably a little bit healthier to have

[27:17] actual physical human contact as well so you know it could stand us to say you know having like having had those experiences to say no like bring your

[27:27] buddies over like come have a party here and everybody bring your laptops or have a land party have a part you cool kids like have a land I think the problem

[27:37] with that though unfortunately is sometimes aside from a land party um is the way these games are designed so much of the customization and the stuff that

[27:46] you’re working towards unlocking is uh linked to a specific account so it’s not like you can all go and hang out on the same console like like gold n and stuff

[27:56] like that a lot of the things that like the The Gamers today have a lot in store with their Avatar and with their profile with these specific games so for them to

[28:08] play like at home they get to play as the character that they built up and customized whether it be like Destiny or Call of Duty or Battlefield or what have

[28:16] you um as soon as they leave their account log in and go to a friend’s house they lose some of that and I think they’re starting to find a nice balance

[28:26] where you can log in like the cloud storage system where it’s like oh I’ll log in on your box and we’ll play together um and because I’ve logged in

[28:34] on your box we can load up my avatar with all of my customization and unlocks but I think that’s the one thing that might be anchoring some kids at home

[28:41] right now from hanging out at another friend’s house in the basement huddled around the TV is that sense of like well if I play at your house I don’t get to

[28:48] play with my character I have to play with generic character five and it’s like I want to play with my customized Master Chief I don’t want to play with

[28:56] just whatever one I get by Def fault so that could be one of the issues is that the game design needs to change to accommodate both scenarios yeah I think

[29:06] um probably a place where it’s going to start getting better I know Microsoft had had some pretty lofty ideas around being able to sign into another Xbox

[29:13] with your account and having things kind of SN and bring over I know that steam like I can show up at either one of your houses and just sign in with my account

[29:21] and proceed to grab my game not how much that actually allows you to interplay and like go in between them you know it’s up for discussion but it might

[29:28] something that we see a lot of movement in to you know they’ve done great Leaps and Bounds to be able to allow people to not play in the same room maybe like

[29:36] next one is and kind of hopefully for the and honestly I guess you know I’d say so and I think I could speak on your behalfs to say that I think for the sake

[29:44] of our kids I hope that there’s a bit more of a prompt to get these guys in the same room kind of playing because there’s a lot of a lot of fun stuff that

[29:50] goes down with a couple folks playing together yeah no I think it’s uh I think there especially in the Indie Community there’s still a lot of that sense of

[30:00] games being games and not just uh video games like that you remember that half of the equation is that they are a game uh

[30:10] they’re meant to be played they’re they’re they’re a social experience they’re not just an interactive narrative um that there’s other stuff

[30:17] going on with them so I think that that sensibility is still being upheld quite well with Indie Games and that industry itself is still doing very well and

[30:26] better than it ever has uh so I think that sense will help um keep that alive and then you know you see a lot of like I when I’m at various events here in the

[30:38] city uh like I see all sorts of kids playing local multiplayer games um at these uh showcases where it’s just a bunch of developers have set up tables

[30:51] with their games and like come have fun and the number of like 12 year olds I see just having blast playing a local multiplayer game is very very reassuring

[31:03] that it’s like you know what no this stuff is still fun it’s it’s not something that the parents are having to like nudge their kid towards at the end

[31:09] of the day it’s actually the kid you know like come on dad one more round one more round like no sweetie we got to go and she’s like no no no just one more

[31:16] round one more round um so I I I liked seeing that so like I’ve seen it firsthand it does still exist with that Generation Um but I definitely think

[31:26] it’s something to encourage as well yeah you could also break a lot of relationships I remember back in the day Mario Kart was

[31:35] brutal opposite seg broken relationships in Mario Mario Kart was brutal for that when you got the Red Shell at the Finish

[31:44] Line I swear that was you could just hit your guy next to you I I still haven’t talked to John he knows did

[31:54] end oh the all right so I know we’re a little um if Godfather to my kids gone he’s out out of the family so now we have a bit of a hard

[32:06] stop today so I think I will propose that we answer a question that we found online relating to dads and gaming and uh get into topics next week so you know

[32:17] as as I mentioned week to week we we’re going to be trying to take in questions from anybody if you want to visit our website but this week we have found came

[32:25] across an interesting question from the internet I’m going to try to correct from

[32:35] grammar sward swear word caps lock caps lock yeah Swedish exploitive uh stop yelling at me help my son cannot play video games

[32:47] without crying hi all my son cannot play his video games without crying it’s very bad he gets so very frustrated when he loses

[32:56] and he throws a tantrum and cries and scares my daughter he will lie on the couch and cry for 20 minutes that no one can talk to him or even look at him when

[33:03] he gets in this way do you guys have any tips or tricks on how to possibly help my son and his Tantrums with video games yeah so they to start off I guess

[33:16] I’ll throw out to Jeff as the only new dad the owner the owner of a fresh new 5-year-old Vis the only one of us with a

[33:28] kid who can currently play games have you experienced anything where he a son got upset when playing a game um he hasn’t got upset at a game but that

[33:40] being said he can play his 3DS when he you know he does a like a sheet in a journal and then he can play his 3DS so there’s a certain power I can hold to

[33:50] the 3DS as um a form of punishment right so if he misbehaves and he has a tantrum somewhere else like in shopping mall or at home or whatever then he can lose his

[34:01] game system for a day or two right so you can kind of withdraw that a little bit um if my son was crying and having a tantrum and throwing a fit for 20

[34:12] minutes on I’m not sure how old the person was in the question question let me see if they mention

[34:21] 222 mid3 if they’re younger it might be a good thing to maybe step back from the video games for a bit and kind of figure out what exactly the Tantrum is about if

[34:33] it’s about losing that can apply to pretty much anything right if you can you know lose in a game uh in a video game you can lose in an actual sport you

[34:42] have to kind of for a treat when the rest of Life shows up yeah so um that’s a hard one and without knowing the age specific if

[34:53] younger I would definitely kind of withdraw the video game older I would there’s for for the purpose of the question I think let’s assume it’s

[35:02] something in the 10 to 12 range because I think that’s probably a bit of a turning point I mean you’re throwing Tantrums at 16 you got a lot more issues

[35:09] if it’s the kid super young you know Tantrums are kind of easy to come by so let’s answer assuming we’re looking at about a 9 to 13 year old well 13 Even

[35:19] feels young or old that’s yeah if I if I pulled that sort of stuff as a kid um at 13 I know that would have been

[35:28] regardless of what the Catalyst for the act action was if I committed that sort of tantrum at that age it would not have gone over well yeah let’s put it at 10

[35:39] or so yeah I think the factor is how many months sorry can you can you say that in months um yeah so I think the the one

[35:51] thing I I that about this scenario that kind of gets my attention is like I think Jeff touched on it as well was that

[35:58] this might not necessarily have anything really to do with games it’s just one of the instances where something’s coming to light and there’s a pre-existing

[36:07] issue um with with their perception of the world and what is deemed fair and what they are entitled to and what they’re not entitled to um just kind of

[36:19] that idea of well I I always win I need to win and I’m not getting what I what I should because I’m not getting what I want and

[36:28] I think I think sometimes opportunities like with video games would help bring something like that to light before it

[36:35] got too severe um like it is one of those opportunities like games can be very frustrating and it can cause a lot of emotional triggers like even when

[36:46] you’re an adult there’s times where I’ve almost snap a controller in half I’ve been so frustrated with like one of those puzzle Platformers you’re just

[36:51] like oh this game’s trying to break me how many months old are you Gavin currently um so yeah I I think the interesting

[37:02] thing about video games is they can kind of dredge up to the surface something that might be bubbling underneath um that said uh I think yeah removing the

[37:13] video games by way of like well if you can’t play with these nicely then we can’t play with them um I I think that’s that’s a very fair way of of looking at

[37:23] it um and I think that would also help teach the idea of playing nicely and and the idea that playing is a privilege not a right um I think that’s one of the big

[37:33] things too sometimes it’s easy to look at gaming as like oh well you know got to give the kids something to do or else we’re going to go nuts it’s like well

[37:42] yeah but if the thing that you’re giving them to do is draw dredging up some stuff that’s causing some behavior issues then maybe you need to find a new

[37:49] activity and they might not like that idea but you’re the parent you’re in charge you’re the alpha you have to maintain it

[37:58] Al yeah remember once I had a really young relatively young cousin come up to me and he was asking me to beat a level I think it was on Spyro on a Game Boy um

[38:09] it wasn’t anything super challenging but he couldn’t beat it so he’s like hey beat this for me and I I remember and like he I’m like I I don’t think I

[38:16] should beat that for you and you know he proceeded to get pretty upset and I was trying to I think I was trying to reason with him which you know terrible

[38:24] strategy with a kid but I said like you no it’s like you just have to it’s okay you just got to keep trying and eventually it’ll learn and then you’ll

[38:30] be good and then you can beat the next levels the thing I was trying to impart on him in his sneaky way as possible and like my fear was that okay I beat this

[38:39] for you you’re going to face things that are harder than this very shortly so like you’re just like if you can’t handle this you’re not going to be able

[38:46] to handle the next level you make a great CEO I can’t solve this problem somebody you do do you do this for me

[38:57] yeah I appreciate the business Spirit he might have been showing but as far as a gamer and train so I had to um yeah I thought and

[39:09] I think that was kids I guess what comes to my mind is there’s probably some opportunity for prevention in the sense of what type of games they are so

[39:18] obviously like anything that they could avoid that is multiplayer where other people are going to clearly be better like much better than them where it’s

[39:24] going to be it’s going to feel frustrating cuz like you said like wanted to snap my controller too and especially when you’re playing other

[39:30] people who are amazing at it yeah it’s like hey cool I got another turn dead by the time by the time you’re at the age where you’re playing like a game

[39:39] where there is that huge divide between player skill like you should have a pretty good grasp on on on being a good sport um like chances are at this kid’s

[39:52] age they’re playing like a round of of Mario Kart with their friends um or even with with their own immediate family uh I think there’s like

[40:05] with gaming at that age like the age were like learning how to be a good sport and learning how to win and lose gracefully uh that’s still in a pretty

[40:15] controlled environment because they’re still pretty young in the games that they’re playing like they wouldn’t just be thrown online playing Call of Duty

[40:20] yet like that’s still years away but even if you think but you think about things like the um so you know Hearthstone lot of cartoons like

[40:28] characters the me Super Meat Boy which is a very like you know very quiet like cartoony like fun little hopp round thing like man you throw like a

[40:39] 10-year-old against that thing like although actually maybe they’d be better than I would at it that’s kind of a bad example but you could see how somebody a

[40:47] kid who’s easy to frustration you give him a game that is just nothing but frustration it is a game of frustration like I think there’s a

[40:56] certain level of we had to deal with battle toads oh you know you didn’t have to deal with battle toads you had to lose at Battle toad but

[41:03] that was the thing is like there were games in our generation see and you’re getting frustrated just thinking about it seaweeds oh I hate that seaweed so

[41:14] the thing is that our parents can beat it you’re stuck you needed to get a Game Genie and beat it can you imagine your kid like you give it to your kid now and

[41:23] he just beats it like he just beats Ninja Turtles like what’s the your problem dad and you’re just I have no son I’d be very proud of my daughter she

[41:35] was able to be girls on the show yeah there there’s a Facebook post if ever there is one but yeah yeah I hear what you’re saying I just again I think

[41:47] there’s some level of prevention um I mean we we’ve addressed it in other shows of course like you can’t all it’s prevention but not avoidance I guess

[41:55] that’s the one thing is like find a way to prevent it early but without avoiding like because then it’s just like well they’re going to run into the

[42:04] frustration of dealing with people better than them at something that they want to be better at that frustration is going to hit them at some point so it

[42:12] better it’d be better for it to be a controlled environment such as a a mutant toad fighting crows as opposed to like a school project where there’s

[42:23] higher Stakes or other people involved um where it’s something trivial but it evokes the same emotional response it’s a great learning opportunity where

[42:33] you’re not worried about repercussions or or you know uh things at stake yeah what does that learning opportunity look like so the kid is playing whatever

[42:43] battle toads let’s throw that out and he is he’s just like snapping his he’s upset just absolutely Furious he’s lost it like what in your minds like what is

[42:54] that conversation like what is like it how do you talk him down off of it and turn that into turn that frustration with a video game into a learning moment

[43:02] about patience and perseverance like however you want to like pitch it that’s hard also bases it’s based off of the

[43:14] way that you communicate with that kid uh like I know in my case uh our child is still way too young for that um in regards to just understanding how our

[43:26] our relationship goes in in in how we communicate ideas and and and thoughts and feelings but I think it’s just like okay we’re going to take a break now

[43:35] you’re going to calm down and then once you’re calm we’re going to talk about what happened uh because like doing it when they’re in the throws of being

[43:42] frustrated like the same goes for a full-grown adult when an adult’s in a really bad mood and they’re frustrated and they’re wanting to throw something

[43:50] through a window you’re not going to get through to them you got to let them blow off some steam and cool down and then then you get to talk to them and

[43:57] hopefully get some rational thought going shut up Gavin I am calm what is you will get a tantrum out of it regardless but I’m gonna invoke a

[44:06] tantrum from Trevor right now I’m just sorry guys I’m just angry I still don’t have coffee don’t make coffee

[44:16] sounds the no I think that’s that’s a really oh damn you both see mugs flash on screen I’m just getting like twitches um arms itchy for some

[44:30] reason no I think that’s really it’s really well said as far as like let them calm down first yeah so that playing game they get upset let them calm down

[44:40] first and then after they’re done that then then have a conversation about what happened it’s like look you got angry it’s like you either have to just play

[44:48] and get better or not play that game or you know then you can have that real talk and hopefully there’s a bit of a learning opportunity then I guess I

[44:56] suppose after that it’s measure like ideally watch him play it the next time and if it just keeps happening then maybe that’s not the game for them like

[45:04] and that’s the thing too is is to teach them sometimes sometimes there’s certain Pursuits that aren’t worth pursuing because there’s nothing to gain from

[45:11] them so you know you not only learn uh how to be a good sport and how to lose gracefully but also learn the idea of uh activities and futility and it’s like

[45:22] yeah this is this is an effort in like there’s nothing to be gained from it so there’s no point in putting yourself through it so it’s it’s learning how to

[45:31] let go and there’s a lot of learning opportunities in the emotional frustrations that games evoke but but Dad there’s just so many trophies on the

[45:39] map and I just I just want to get them all to do them all put there by frustrated game developers who are trying to meet a quota it’s okay I’ll

[45:47] pay the ncks I’ll don’t worry want them I just want them all yeah that’s yeah you’re saying that in the back of my mind I’m like yeah

[45:59] just let them go let let those trophies let them sit there you don’t have to do it you’re bigger than those trophies yeah you you’re Batman just just sing

[46:09] the Frozen song just let a let Enigma go let Mr Freeze sing the song from Frozen to you

[46:21] go horrible perfect wonderful I want to point out um I believe we might have missed the topic again yep of it this is the second time we’ve uh

[46:35] We’ve we’ve neglected the topic about neglecting games and I’m loving it it we’ll get to it one day he’ll sit up there on our shelves just teasing us

[46:46] yep to don’t worry I’m totally gonna play that one day though last episode I get on our 100th episode Special we like come back and address everything

[46:58] fin but we did get a question in and that was I think that was fun I think we all had a learning moment I got a little frustrated but I think you guys calm me

[47:07] down and talk me through it so exactly and now you can go have a coffee that’s a timeout Trevor go have a coffee please don’t take my system

[47:15] away beautiful everybody that wraps it up for this week we do this show weekly you can find us on our website at newad gaming.com if you have any questions

[47:25] yourselves you’d like to submit please do please reach out to us um link subscribe tell us to your friends tell us to your kids uh it’s never too young

[47:35] for them to listen to this podcast and until next maybe I don’t know we’ll see about my uh there’s no swears we don’t swear we been pretty

[47:45] good so far have I been good I don’t know I all right think think you’ve just been sticking the coffee so there’s been no

[47:53] no swears just yet put parental Rory up if there’s Whiskey In The Mug they’ll just have like a kid squeak

[48:03] or like a rattle go whenever someone like drops an F bomb or something exactly there we go and the dad joke song we need the dad

[48:11] joke there we go perfect all right everyone so we will see you next week and until then I am Trevor and I have a

[48:20] four-month-old I’m Gavin I have a two-month old I’m Jeff I have a two and a half and a 5-year old wonderful see you next week

[48:27] how many we was that oh that’s right please keep it the ears please keep it the ears all right guys have a great week